I have mixed feelings about Social Media. I have mixed
feelings about self-promotion. I have mixed feelings about being a public
figure, being in the public eye, being Internet famous, being famous and
generally anything that can impact a person’s ability to be genuine.
I took the time last night to actually read through most of
this blog. I’ve never taken the time to actually sit down to re-read anything I
have written here…… ever. Mostly out of embarrassment for putting myself out
there. Why? For the most part almost everything
written here is nonsense, which is fine because I didn’t really know anything a
decade ago. I also really wanted people to view me through an illegitimate
lens. I think I wanted to invent a “better” or “different” version of myself
because of my own personal issues regarding how I felt about myself. Reading through this blog I “saw” the voice of
a person who was trying to be liked by trying to seem clever. I never really use the word “shall” in casual
conversation. I also tend to use contractions.
It’s okay! I’m grateful. In-between all the nonsense were a
few gold nuggets for me to mine.
For better or worse this is the closest thing to a history
record of my life as an artist. It’s true this space has never been kept on a
regular basis. I don’t even know if people can easily find it, but it’s still
the only timeline I can look through and get a sense of where I’ve come from.
In a weird way this shitty little blog is kind of an important thing to me. I
think my future self would be grateful to if I continued to update this space.
I’d like to try to speak (here) the way I would if I were
having a conversation. I’d also like try and express myself and my ideas. I don’t
know how the words for that are going to align, but I hope they make sense to
whoever might be reading this. More importantly I hope they make sense to me.
In 10 years when I take another walk down memory lane I’d like to hear the
voice of a man on a journey, not the whine of a boy trying to be well received.
There used to be this mentality on a place that was called conceptart.org
that you shouldn’t update your sketchbook if the only thing you were going to
update was a bunch of words.
This is all the art I have been working on the last 30 days.
I really want to get better. I want to be one of the very best.
It’s not over until I win,
-Joseph
